Tales From the Tempur-Pedic #2: Solo vs Rogue One

The Saga of the Star Wars One-Offs

Hubbs and I have never hidden our nerdiness but I am fairly new to the scene. Before meeting My Geek, I didn’t know about ComicCon, had never set foot in a comic book store, and had never seen a Star Wars movie. I was a film major with a passion for erotic fiction, R&B, and Tyler Perry plays. The closest I’d ever come to his world of geek was Jonathan Lang giving me a copy of Hitchhiker Guide to the Galaxy in high school (a book that undoubtedly still sits unread in my childhood bedroom). However, I can now wax poetic about what I feel was a missed opportunity in one simple line of dialogue in the Star Wars franchise.

Why am I bringing this up now?

Have I mentioned that Hubbs is also the best (and sexiest) dad ever? At the approach of May the 4th (Star Wars Day), he embarked on the journey of taking Belle through the entirety of the SW Sage from beginning to end. As they just completed Rogue One and Solo, it was easy to compare the two. And tonight we had a lot to say about each. This is just a bit of that.

Why Rogue One is Better than Solo

According to my beloved, Rogue One is just an all-around better movie. The action, the new characters, the throwback to old characters, that pacing. It all comes together in a coherent space opera (my words) that perfectly connects Revenge of the Sith to A New Hope. The iconic moment, in full darkness, when Darth Vader is revealed in the corridor of the rebel ship was awe-inducing. 

The motion-captured Tarkin and Leia didn’t distract us from the rest of the movie nearly as much as it did some other fans. That final moment with Leia was welcomed and solidified the movie and its moments as pure canon. Unlike Solo.

One Line of Dialogue Can Change History

Han Solo is one of the best-known characters in all of science fiction cinema. He is a total badass, the smuggler who gets the princess, has the best BFF in all of space, and has one of the most tragic character arcs in the franchise (IMHO). So I was effing excited when it was announced that he was getting his own movie depicting his origin.

As a writer, I’m constantly overanalyzing plots, word choice, and dialogue in movies and television shows. I was excited for Solo and was all in until the delivery of one line by a character we never see or hear from again. It is the one line that makes me cringe due to it changing everything we know and love about Han Solo as a character came in the moments after Han and Qi’ra are separated during their escape. Han decides to join the Empire. In doing so, he is asked his name. “Who are you people?” the guard asks. “It’s just me,” Han replies. The guard thinks a moment before assigning him the name Solo.

*SIGH*

The first time I watched this, my stomach rolled and I wanted the floor of the theater to open and swallow me whole. He got his name from the Empire? Are you shitting me? Why would he keep that name? For what purpose does he have to keep it? Later, when he’s on the run from the Empire, he still uses that name. As a smuggler. He gives his child that name. It makes no sense. 

Han has just lost the only family he has carved out for himself. His only partner in crime we’ve seen thus far. The only bond. And he’s lost her. This is the first loss we, the audience, have seen him experience. At this moment, he has just been completely cut off from the one person who was willing to run with him, fly with him. She planned with him. And in a moment, she was gone.

My Alteration

GUARD: Name?

HAN: Han.

GUARD: Last name?

HAN: I don’t have one.

GUARD: Who are your people.

HAN: (voice breaking) I don’t have any people. It’s just me. I’m on my own.

Han looks over his shoulder and sees one of the men hunting him.

HAN: (to the guard, with venom) Solo.

There. Fixed it. I feel like that would have made for a much more believable origin of his last name than some guard pulling it out of thin air and him keeping it. I feel that would have told viewers, “I see you. I’ll be back for her. I’ll do it on my own, Qi’ra. On my own, but for us.”

There are so many other reasons why I agree that Rogue One was a better move than Solo, but this one moment was pivotal for me. It made me groan. It was akin to the heavily CGI-filled A New Hope scene where Greedo shot before Han, robbing him of his badass moniker of shoot first, ask questions while saving your ass later. And it’s just as appalling to think that Solo was a name given to Han by the Empire and that he kept it and gave it to his son.

And I’ve officially become the nerd I promised I’d never be. Jonathan Lang, you were cooler beyond your years. If you ever find yourself out my way, I have the entirety of Monty Python’s Flying Circus to sift through with you.

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Yes. We discuss all this and more late at night. Like this post, it usually doesn’t come to any grand conclusions, but our random musings are just another part of the open communication that keeps us hitting those same two pillows every night.

Good night and may you be blessed with pillow talk.